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Thời lượng đọc: 11 phút

Chứng kiến mối quan hệ khá êm đềm và bền chặt giữa vợ chồng tôi, chắc hẳn bạn sẽ khó tưởng tượng ra rằng chúng tôi cũng đã từng đau khổ lúc bên nhau. 

Những lần giận dỗi, cãi vã nảy lửa hay chiến tranh lạnh không ai thèm nói một câu nhưng trong lòng tan nát. Những lần chia tay đầm đìa nước mắt. Những lần quay lại với nhau nhưng vẫn hoài nghi liệu mối quan hệ này có nổi một tương lai!

Thậm chí kể cả khi đã quyết định về chung một nhà, thề thốt sẽ buộc chặt cuộc đời mình với người kia, thì chúng tôi vẫn phải đối mặt với nhiều va vấp trong mối quan hệ vợ chồng. Nhưng có lẽ cũng phải cảm ơn những khổ đau đôi khi tới mức cùng cực ấy, để chúng tôi học cách yêu thương thực sự, và để có quả ngọt ngày hôm nay.

Điều ly kỳ nhất có lẽ là, để có thể học được cách yêu thương đối phương và hạnh phúc trong tình yêu, thì ta phải học yêu bản thân mình trước!

Ngày nay, tôi vẫn chứng kiến nhiều bạn bè mình đau khổ trong tình yêu, tình cảm vợ chồng. Tôi đọc những lời thở than, oán trách, đôi khi là hận thù trên group của những người đau khổ vì yêu. Thực sự thì cái gì làm cho người ta đau khổ đến vậy? Tôi đã quan sát và ngẫm nghĩ rất nhiều, để rồi nhận ra câu trả lời.

Dưới đây là những gì tôi nhận ra trong ký ức của chính mình về những bất an, dằn vặt, khổ đau trong mối quan hệ tình cảm. Nếu bạn thấy hình bóng mình trong đó, có lẽ chúng ta sẽ còn tâm sự với nhau:

1. Quá lạc quan vào mối quan hệ

Nghe thì có vẻ ngược đời, nhưng chính những người đặt quá nhiều kỳ vọng vào một mối quan hệ sẽ phải chịu nguy cơ đổ vỡ nhiều hơn. Vì sao? Họ ngây thơ tới mức định nghĩa rằng một tình yêu hạnh phúc là tình yêu không có mâu thuẫn. Họ ngây thơ nghĩ rằng một khi họ tìm được Mr./Ms.Right của cuộc đời mình thì họ sẽ không bao giờ còn phải cãi vã, khóc lóc, giận dỗi, buồn bã nữa – họ tin rằng “happily ever after” – một cái kết viên mãn sẽ tự nhiên đến và ở lại mãi mãi khi họ tìm đúng người để yêu. 

Vì sự ngây thơ này mà khi một vấn đề nảy sinh, họ không đón nhận nó. Thay vì coi mâu thuẫn là một tín hiệu của việc tình yêu đang lớn lên, đang phát triển, thì họ coi đó là minh chứng rằng mối quan hệ này là sai lầm và có vấn đề lớn không thể giải quyết nổi. Họ coi nó là cái ung nhọt, và cần phải cắt bỏ đi để duy trì sự sống của mình.

Chính những kỳ vọng ngây thơ (hay chính là ảo tưởng!) đã khiến họ cảm thấy mệt mỏi, không thể kiên nhẫn để sửa chữa và vun vén cho mối quan hệ của mình.

2. Mất kết nối với chính mình

Những người đau khổ trong tình yêu thường là những người không kết nối được với nỗi đau của chính mình. Họ thường cảm thấy khổ sở, thất vọng nhưng không biết nguyên nhân tại sao họ lại có cảm giác đó. Họ cảm thấy có gì đó không ổn khi ở cạnh người yêu nhưng lại không biết chính xác không ổn ở chỗ nào.

Và vì thế, họ gây gổ với người kia. Họ nói những lời cay độc vì những lý do rất chung chung, hoặc là ngược lại, họ sẽ tấn công người kia về những chuyện nhỏ nhặt chẳng liên quan.

3. Thiếu tự tôn

Một người luôn nghi ngờ về giá trị của bản thân sẽ luôn cảm thấy xấu hổ trước người khác. Có thể trong quá khứ họ đã từng bị nhồi nhét một niềm tin rằng họ chẳng có giá trị gì, rằng những cảm xúc của họ không xứng đáng được quan tâm, hạnh phúc của họ không phải là ưu tiên số 1, và lời nói của họ thì có trọng lượng bằng con số 0 tròn trĩnh.

Khi mang những hoài nghi này vào một mối quan hệ, những người tự ti cũng trải qua những va vấp, đau khổ như bất kỳ ai khác. Nhưng tệ hơn, họ gần như không thể nào lên tiếng, không thể nào cho người khác biết về sự đau khổ của mình.

Khi không như ý, họ thà giận dỗi chứ không nói ra, thà giấu đi chứ không tiết lộ, thà đau khổ trong yên lặng chứ không thể nào bộc bạch tâm can. Cuối cùng, khi họ cũng chịu thổ lộ sự tuyệt vọng của mình cho đối phương thì thường đã là quá muộn!

4. Nghiêm trọng hóa vấn đề

Khi người yêu hay bạn đời làm gì đó khiến bạn ta chịu, tất nhiên là phải nói ra. Nhưng tôi đã nhận ra rằng khi phàn nàn với đối phương chúng ta cần giữ một tâm thế “chill” (thoải mái, thư thái) hết sức có thể.

Để thực sự “chill”, thì bạn phải xác định rằng: dù lời than phiền của mình có được đón nhận tích cực hay không thì cũng không phải là vấn đề quá quan trọng. 

Bạn than phiền về việc người yêu không chịu bỏ thuốc lá? Cũng được thôi, nhưng lần tới nếu vẫn nghe mùi thuốc trong hơi thở của họ, cũng đừng tỏ ra như thể họ vừa lấy dao cứa vào cổ bạn nữa.

Khi cãi nhau, bạn chẳng cần gì phải quát tháo, hăm dọa, cằn nhằn. Bạn có thể phàn nàn với người yêu một cách điềm tĩnh, như thể việc người đó có phản ứng thế nào thì cũng không ảnh hưởng quá nhiều đến mức độ hạnh phúc của bạn. Hãy nhớ rằng ngày mai, ngày kia hoặc hàng tháng sau hai người vẫn có thể quay lại đàm phán tiếp về việc này.

Một trận cãi nhau chẳng phải là tận thế. Một mối quan hệ dù tệ đến đâu cũng không thể nào hủy hoại cuộc đời bạn được đâu!

5. Tự ái quá mức

Thế này nghe có ngược đời không: 

Bạn mạnh mẽ nhất khi dám thừa nhận điểm yếu của mình.

Bạn dũng cảm nhất khi dám thừa nhận những hèn nhát và nhỏ mọn của bản thân.

Bạn phải đủ trưởng thành từ bên trong thì mới dám thừa nhận rằng mình cần được yêu thương và trấn an như một đứa trẻ.

Chỉ khi lòng tự tôn bên trong đủ mạnh thì chúng ta mới dám thừa nhận với người yêu rằng: mình khổ sở, mình cần được quan tâm nhiều hơn, cần được nâng đỡ và cần có họ ở bên. Đó là khi sự kết nối thực sự bắt đầu giữa hai người.

6. Tuyệt vọng trong những cuộc đối thoại

Trong quá khứ, có thể bạn hiếm khi thấy những cuộc cãi vã kết thúc theo chiều hướng tích cực. Bố mẹ bạn cãi nhau, la hét và dằn vặt nhau, và trải nghiệm đó khiến bạn không tin rằng mâu thuẫn trong một mỗi quan hệ có thể đem lại kết quả tốt đẹp là sự hiểu thấu nhau và đồng cảm hơn. Bạn lúc nào cũng mong được thấu hiểu nhưng không bao giờ tin rằng rồi người kia sẽ hiểu.

Vì thế mà bạn lảng tránh những cuộc đối thoại nghiêm túc và thẳng thắn. Điều đó khiến cho những mâu thuẫn ngày một chất chồng, những vấn đề quan trọng không được đem ra ánh sáng. Và một ngày nào đó, bạn với họ chỉ là những đường thẳng song song!

Tạm kết

Khi nhận thấy một mối quan hệ có những yếu tố như trên, điều đó không có nghĩa là mối quan hệ của bạn chẳng còn hi vọng. Tuy nhiên, những yếu tố đó là nhân tố dẫn đến sự mất kết nối về cảm xúc giữa hai người. Nhìn từ bên ngoài, mọi việc có thể vẫn ổn. Người ta vẫn thấy hai người hẹn hò, có những đứa con dễ thương, mua một căn hộ mới. Nhưng nếu sáng suốt mà phân tích thì bạn sẽ nhận thấy rằng mối quan hệ ấy ẩn chứa nhiều rủi ro. Đừng lo, vì nhận biết rủi ro là bước đầu tiên để bạn thay đổi và xây dựng một tình yêu thực sự hạnh phúc.

Như thế nào? Có lẽ chúng ta bàn thêm ở những bài sau.

 

Yêu thương,

Có thể bạn sẽ thích

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