Làm cha mẹ

5 bí kíp đối phó với khủng hoảng tuổi lên 3

Thời lượng đọc: 10 phút

Nhắc đến “Khủng hoảng tuổi lên 3”, nhiều cha mẹ đã từng hoặc đang có con trong độ tuổi từ 18 tháng đến 3 tuổi phải “lắc đầu, lè lưỡi”. Em bé đáng yêu ngày nào bỗng trở nên ngang bướng, chống đối và chốc chốc lại lăn kềnh ra khóc lóc ăn vạ. Trong bài viết này, chúng ta sẽ cùng tìm hiểu nguyên nhân của quãng thời gian “khủng hoảng” này và “dắt lưng” 5 bí kíp để đối phó.

Tại sao có “Khủng hoảng tuổi lên 3”?

Từ 18 tháng đến trước 3 tuổi là giai đoạn khá “nhạy cảm” ở mỗi em bé. Đó là lúc bé bắt đầu đi vững và cảm nhận được sự độc lập của mình so với thế giới. Vừa muốn khẳng định sự độc lập của mình, bé lại vừa thèm muốn cảm giác gắn kết, an toàn từ cha mẹ. Chỉ riêng “mâu thuẫn nội tại” này đã khiến con luôn dễ nổi cáu, không còn năng lượng tích cực để hợp tác như trước.

Chưa hết, trẻ ở độ tuổi này đang hình thành khả năng tự điều tiết cảm xúc. Một việc nhỏ xíu không như ý cũng trở nên quá sức chịu đựng với trẻ. Đã vậy, vì còn đang học nói nên nhiều khi trẻ không thể tìm được cách diễn đạt vấn đề và cảm xúc của mình. Tất cả dồn tụ lại khiến con dễ dàng tìm đến nước mắt và những hành vi ăn vạ khác.

Phương châm của cha mẹ lúc này là bình tĩnh, hết sức thông cảm với những biểu hiện nhạy cảm của trẻ. Hãy hiểu rằng mỗi hành vi của con không phải là cố ý gây khó chịu cho bạn, mà là một lời nhờ giúp đỡ vì con đang thực sự gặp khó khăn trong việc đối mặt với cảm xúc của chính mình. Đừng nạt nộ, hãy giúp đỡ!

Đôi khi, dù chúng ta hết sức kiên nhẫn những sự việc vẫn khiến chúng ta quá sức chịu đựng. Dưới đây là 5 “công cụ” hữu ích dành cho bạn để áp dụng vào các tình huống hằng ngày.

Công cụ số 1: Cho con quyền lựa chọn, bất cứ khi nào có thể

Hãy dừng lại và đếm xem 1 ngày bạn nói bao nhiều lần những từ như “đừng”,“không được” với con. Thử đặt mình vào vị trí của con, bạn sẽ nhận thấy rằng việc liên tục bị từ chối, cấm cản thật chẳng dễ dàng gì. 

Bí quyết ở đây là khéo léo thay những thứ KHÔNG ĐƯỢC thành những thứ con CÓ THỂ làm. Hãy trao cho con quyền lựa chọn bằng những cách thật sáng tạo:

    • Nếu bạn muốn nói “Không được vứt đồ chơi lung tung” hãy nói “Con muốn mình xếp đồ chơi vào trong giỏ này hay để giỏ kia?
    • Nếu bạn muốn nói “Không được la hét lên như vậy” hãy nói “À hay bây giờ mẹ đọc một cuốn sách cho con nhé? Hay là ra ngoài chơi?”
  • Thay vì nói “Không chơi nữa, mặc quần áo để đi học ngay” hãy nói “Con muốn mặc váy thỏ hay váy mèo để đi học nào?”

Bằng cách này, con có cảm giác được tôn trọng và nắm quyền quyết định nên sẽ vui vẻ thực hiện. 

Tuy nhiên, bạn hãy lưu ý là khi đưa ra lựa chọn, bạn phải thực sự hào hứng với sự lựa chọn đó trong giọng nói và thái độ. Trẻ con rất nhạy cảm với cảm xúc của người lớn nên nếu bạn chỉ đưa ra một cách cứng nhắc thì con sẽ khó mà cảm thấy cuốn hút với những việc bạn muốn con làm. Cũng đừng quên rằng một khi con đã chọn một phương án thì bạn phải làm đúng những gì đã hứa!

Công cụ số 2: Làm gương cho con

“Nhìn cây sửa đất, nhìn con sửa mình” – Trẻ học bằng cách bắt chước. Chính vì vậy, làm gương cho con chính là công cụ cực kỳ hữu ích.

Bạn muốn con có thói quen dọn dẹp đồ chơi, hãy xắn tay lên cùng con dọn dẹp trong những lần đầu. Bản thân đồ đạc của bạn, hãy dọn dẹp mỗi khi xong việc và vừa dọn vừa chỉ cho con thấy: “Con xem này, mẹ đang dọn những đồ này vì mẹ nấu nướng xong rồi. Nồi mẹ cất lại vào đây. Thớt thì treo ở đây. Nhìn mọi thứ gọn gàng thật thích phải không con?”

Công cụ số 3: Giữ một lịch trình sinh hoạt ổn định

Như đã nói, trẻ tuổi này đang rất nhạy cảm và dễ căng thẳng khi đối mặt với thay đổi dù lớn hay nhỏ. Một lịch sinh hoạt ổn định nơi có các hoạt động cố định vào từng khung giờ sẽ giúp trẻ hiểu được việc gì diễn ra tiếp theo, từ đó dễ hợp tác hơn.

Ví dụ, chiều nào cũng vậy, đi học về là con sẽ được uống nước, đi đạp xe rồi về tắm và ăn cơm. Nếu bạn giữ đúng trình tự này mỗi ngày thì trẻ về sẽ biết tìm nước uống, uống xong biết mình sẽ đi đạp xe, và hết giờ thì ngoan ngoãn về tắm. Nhưng nếu không có trình tự, mỗi ngày một kiểu thì trẻ không biết việc tiếp theo cần làm là gì. Khi mẹ thông báo đến giờ đi tắm thì con lại muốn đi đạp xe, vậy là màn khóc lóc lại bắt đầu.

Công cụ số 4: Đáp ứng nhu cầu cơ bản của trẻ một cách kịp thời

Trẻ cần được ăn no, ngủ đủ và vui chơi vừa phải. Khi quá mệt, quá chán, hay kích thích quá mức, trẻ sẽ dễ nổi cáu và có những hành vi không đúng mực. Chính vì vậy, bạn hãy “ngăn chặn” ngay bằng cách đảm bảo các nhu cầu của con luôn được đáp ứng kịp thời. 

Một nhu cầu quan trọng khác là sự kết nối về thể chất và tinh thần với bố mẹ. Trẻ luôn cần sự chú ý của bạn. Hãy bế con, ôm con, và đừng quên nói yêu con mỗi ngày. Nếu bạn dành riêng thời gian để trò chuyện và kết nối hằng ngày với con, đó là cách tốt nhất để con cảm thấy mình được yêu thương, quan tâm và không cần mượn đến các hành vi xấu để gây chú ý của cha mẹ nữa. Đứa trẻ được kết nối với cha mẹ là đứa trẻ dễ hợp tác nhất.

Công cụ số 5: Thông báo trước với con khi có sự thay đổi

Khác với chúng ta, trẻ không phải là người quyết định hầu hết các hoạt động trong ngày của mình. Do đó, con rất dễ cảm thấy bất lực và chống đối khi có điều gì đó thay đổi. Hãy cho con đủ thời gian để chuẩn bị với các tình huống thay đổi bằng cách thông báo trước với con. 

Bạn đã bao giờ rơi vào trường hợp gọi con đi tắm mà con nhất quyết ngồi chơi không đứng dậy, bắt đi thì sẽ khóc? Thay vì đến đúng giờ tắm rồi mới thông báo thì bạn hãy nhớ thông báo trước đó để con có thời gian chuẩn bị: “Sắp hết giờ chơi rồi, chơi 5 phút nữa chúng mình sẽ đi tắm con nhé”. Như vậy, bé dễ dàng chuyển đổi nhịp nhàng giữa các hoạt động hơn.

Lời kết

Nếu con bạn đang ở trong giai đoạn “khủng hoảng tuổi lên 3” và bạn đã quá mệt mỏi với thái độ chống đối, hay mè nheo, khóc lóc thì hãy nhớ rằng đây cũng là cột mốc phát triển quan trọng về nhận thức và tính cách của trẻ. Hãy áp dụng những công cụ trên đây và giữ tâm thế bình tĩnh nhất để giúp con vượt qua giai đoạn nhạy cảm này nhé!

Yêu thương,

Có thể bạn sẽ thích

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