Làm cha mẹ

Đối mặt với nỗi sợ đau đẻ: làm sao để vượt qua?

Thời lượng đọc: 8 phút

Hồi còn con gái, mình thường nghĩ về sự đau đẻ với một cái rùng mình, vì 10 người đã từng sinh con thì cả 10 người đều bảo: “đau như gãy 20 cái xương sườn cùng lúc”, “không có đau gì bằng đau đẻ”. Trải qua hai lần sinh nở rồi mình mới thấm thía những lời “hù dọa” này. Háo hức được gặp con thật đấy, nhưng khi những cơn co bắt đầu đến dồn dập và mạnh hơn, thì mình sẽ thực sự phải bước vào một cuộc chiến.

Mình vẫn luôn nghĩ bản thân là một người bản lĩnh, cho đến khi nhận ra bên cạnh cơn đau là một cảm giác yếu đuối và sợ hãi trước bàn đẻ lạnh lẽo, máy móc vô tri của bệnh viện và những bà đẻ bên cạnh cũng đang vật vã với cơn đau.  Có lẽ nào Tạo hóa cố tình tạo ra cơn đau đẻ để thử thách xem mỗi bà mẹ có đủ dũng cảm để làm mẹ của một em bé hay không? Mình cũng không biết chắc. Mình chỉ biết chắc một điều rằng: nếu đã không thể tránh khỏi thì hãy chuẩn bị tâm lý thật tốt trước khi “vào trận”. Dưới đây là những gì mình đã trải nghiệm và thấy thực sự có hiệu quả qua hai lần “vượt cạn” thành công.

1. Chấp nhận cảm giác đau

Ta thường đánh đồng cảm giác đau với một vấn đề tiêu cực cần giải quyết, một thứ cần chối bỏ, như khi đau đầu là phải uống thuốc giảm đau ngay. Hãy nhắc mình rằng cảm giác đau chuyển dạ không phải là một điều tiêu cực. Nó chỉ là hiện tượng tự nhiên, thậm chí có vai trò tích cực thúc đẩy quá trình em bé ra đời. Hãy chấp nhận và chủ động đón nhận cơn đau. Đừng nhìn những bà đẻ đang kêu khóc xung quanh mà yếu lòng. Mỗi lần cơn co tử cung xuất hiện, hãy nhắc mình:

Cảm giác này là điều tự nhiên, mình đón nhận nó, mong chờ nó, vì cảm giác này đến nghĩa là con sắp ra với mình rồi

2. Cơ thể của bạn được tạo ra để làm việc này

Bản thân cảm giác đau đẻ không kinh khủng đến thế. Điều kinh khủng ở đây là NỖI SỢ trước cảm giác đó. Khi bạn sợ, hơi thở trở nên không đều và không sâu dẫn đến thiếu ô xy vào cơ thể. Nỗi sợ làm các cơ cứng lại, trong khi bạn đang cần nó mềm ra để em bé dễ dàng đi qua. Thế là chính nỗi sợ làm cảm giác đau đẻ trở nên tệ hơn, quá trình sinh nở khó khăn hơn.

Sinh con là một trải nghiệm tuyệt vời, đấng Tạo hóa đã ban cho cơ thể bạn mọi thứ cần thiết để có thể làm việc này và bạn sẽ làm được. Hãy tin vào khả năng tự nhiên của cơ thể mình.

3. Tập trung vào hơi thở

Hơi thở là một vũ khí lợi hại của các bà đẻ. Khi nào cảm thấy đau đến mức mất bình tĩnh, hãy trở về với hơi thở. Hít vào, bạn biết là mình đang hít vào. Thở ra, bạn để ý luồng không khí từ trong phổi đi ra qua mũi mình như thế nào. Như vậy có 2 lợi ích: một là bạn thở tốt hơn để có ô xy vào cơ thể, hai là bạn thoát khỏi nỗi sợ vì còn bận tập trung vào việc thở rồi.

Tập trung thở, giữ tâm trí tĩnh tại, cơ thể thả lỏng, cảm giác mình đang mở ra, em bé đang dịch chuyển dần xuống dưới.

Nếu bạn có thể nghe nhạc trong lúc ở viện thì thật tốt. Trước khi đi sinh, bạn lên Youtube, tìm từ khóa “hypnobirthing” và chọn một clip bất kỳ có nhạc thư thái và có thể có lời dẫn (thường bằng tiếng Anh). Mình sẽ bàn thêm về phương pháp hypnobirthing ở những bài sau.

4. Đối mặt với từng cơn co một

Chúng ta thường không chánh niệm: chưa ăn bữa nay đã lo bữa mai, mình đang đau ở đoạn này nhưng đã lại lo đoạn tí nữa đau hơn thì mình chịu sao nổi. Như vậy chỉ làm tâm trí càng rối thêm. Cơn co tử cung mang tính chất chu kỳ như những đợt sóng, dâng lên rồi hạ xuống, rồi lại dâng lên, cứ thế cho tới khi em bé ra đời. Thay vì bấn loạn, ta hãy tập trung tâm trí và sức lực để đối mặt với TỪNG CƠN CO MỘT.

Khi cơn co bắt đầu:

Một đợt sóng nữa lại đến rồi.

Cảm giác đau sẽ mạnh dần lên:

Sóng đang dâng lên …

Đến đoạn đỉnh:

Lúc đau nhất đây rồi. Cơ thể mình đang mở ra. Em bé đang dịch xuống thêm một chút.

Tiếp tục tập trung vào hơi thở. Và sang thì nghỉ, cơn co giảm dần như cơn sóng rút dần ra xa, thì ta tự vỗ vai mình một cái:

Mình thật giỏi! mình đã vượt qua thêm 1 cơn co nữa rồi!”

Sau đó tập trung nghỉ ngơi thật tốt để đón nhận cơn co tiếp theo. Nghĩa là: lúc nào thì biết lúc ấy, tập trung vào hiện tại thay vì lo sợ làm tinh thần hoảng loạn.

Lời kết

Dù là lần đầu hay lần thứ hai, thứ ba mang thai, ai cũng có thể rùng mình trước ý nghĩ về cơn đau đẻ. Nhưng nếu đã không thể tránh khỏi thì sợ hãi có giải quyết được gì đâu! Bạn hãy luyện tập để đón nhận và đối diện với cảm giác đau trong tâm thế bình tĩnh và thoải mái nhất có thể. Có người sẽ bảo: “lúc đau quá rồi làm sao nghĩ được như thế nữa!”. Đó là lý do bạn cần luyện tập. Tập thiền để luyện cách tập trung tâm trí vào hơi thở. Tập nhắc nhở mình hằng ngày, hằng giờ bằng những câu khẳng định: “tôi sẽ bình tĩnh đón nhận cảm giác đau”, “cơ thể tôi được tạo ra để làm được việc này”, “mỗi cơn co là một đợt sóng đưa em bé tới gần hơn”. Nhờ sự luyện tập chuyên cần mà mọi thứ sẽ xảy ra một cách tự nhiên khi “cuộc chiến” thực sự bắt đầu, không phải gồng ép gì cả vì đã trở thành thói quen, là điều hiển nhiên rồi.

Yêu thương,

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Có thể bạn sẽ thích

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