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Xây dựng một nếp nhà an ổn

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Những ngày gần đây khi đang thong thả thu vén lại lối sống của bản thân, hít thở và vận động nhiều hơn, ít ngồi điều hoà và giảm kích thích, mình cảm thấy rõ ràng những thay đổi bên trong. Được đà, tự nhiên muốn sắp xếp lại nếp sống trong gia đình nhỏ. Vừa đúng lúc con lớn đi học lớp một, đối diện với nhiều thay đổi và áp lực, mình cũng muốn tạo một nếp nhà đều đặn và dễ chịu đón con trở về sau mỗi ngày 9 tiếng ở trường.

Nhà là nơi để về – nhưng với nhiều người, ở nhà còn hỗn loạn và vất vả hơn đi làm. Đó cũng là trải nghiệm của chính mình cho tới khi tìm được cách sắp xếp lại đời sống gia đình. Có nhiều yếu tố tạo nên sự an ổn cho gia đình, nhưng hôm nay hãy nói về những yếu tố có thể cải thiện được ngay nhé.

Đầu tiên là nếp sinh hoạt có tuần tự cố định.

Một nếp sinh hoạt có tuần tự cố định, lặp đi lặp lại mỗi ngày sẽ giúp tạo nên cảm giác an toàn và kỷ luật cho trẻ. Bởi đã quen với trình tự sinh hoạt, trẻ biết sau việc này sẽ mình việc gì. Sự biết trước này tạo nên cảm giác an toàn và tự tin. Việc chuyển đổi giữa các hoạt động như chơi – tắm – ăn – ngủ trở nên nhịp nhàng hơn, ít phản kháng hơn.

Sau một tuần quan sát, mình rút ra một tuần tự lớn cho gia đình:

Đi học về – tưới cây – tắm rửa – ăn mình – chơi tự do – đánh răng – tắt đèn kể chuyện – ngủ.

Trong mỗi việc này cũng cần tuần tự cho những việc nhỏ hơn. Ví dụ như khi đi học về cần cất cặp, rồi đi lấy bình tưới, tưới cây ở sân sau rồi ra sân trước, hôm nào cũng như hôm nào. Tâm thế của mẹ cũng cứ quân bình, thong thả làm chứ không giục giã. Nếu thấy con lơ đãng hay muốn làm hoạt động khác, chỉ nhẹ nhàng kết nối với con và dẫn con quay về trình tự ban đầu. Làm được điều này, thấy công sức hò hét thúc giục và cả những trận ăn vạ không đâu giảm đi đáng kể. 

Cho trẻ đi ngủ sớm

Trước đây Lạc Bia thường ngủ lúc 9h – 9h30 mình nhưng từ khi Lạc đi học sớm lên thì buổi sáng thường diễn ra trong vội vàng hỗn độn. Những ngày gần đây, mình điều chỉnh cho con ngủ sớm hơn. Thường là lên giường lúc 8h-8h30, cứ tưởng chưa quen nhưng bọn trẻ lại chìm vào giấc ngủ rất nhanh. Thì ra bấy lâu chúng vẫn đủ mệt để ngủ sớm, chỉ là mẹ không để ý nhu cầu của con thôi.

Ngủ đủ, nhiều buổi sáng hai chị em cũng tự mở mắt dậy lúc hơn 6h. Dù con tự dậy hay phải đánh thức, mình cũng sẽ nhẹ nhàng xoa lưng, xoa đầu con và hát bài “Bình minh lên có con chim non”, sau đó dậy mở nhẹ rèm ra cho con nhìn thấy cây cối bên ngoài. Một ngày mới bắt đầu thong thả, yên bình hơn hẳn.

Thu vén không gian, đưa thiên nhiên vào mỗi góc nhà

Nhà mình khá rộng nhưng đồ thì cũng nhiều, và thường khi chính những đồ ít dùng nhưng lúc nào cũng ở trước mắt khiến mình thấy khó chịu vướng víu, còn bọn trẻ thì cũng vì thế mà rất dễ bị sao nhãng khỏi hoạt động đang làm. Vậy là bắt đầu tập hợp, phân loại: vứt đi, cho đi hay cất gọn, trả lại không gian thoáng đãng chỉ toàn những thứ gia đình dùng hằng ngày. Cảm giác nhẹ nhõm này, nó không mất đồng nào nhưng mà thật là dễ chịu.

Muốn cho con tiếp xúc nhiều hơn với thiên nhiên, nhưng ở nhà ống chẳng có vườn. Ngoài vườn cây trên sân thượng, mình thêm vào một chậu cây nhỏ ở góc này, một cành cây khô nhặt ở sân trường con về cắm lọ, mấy quả thông khô trong giỏ chờ con chơi đồ hàng. Cất bớt đồ chơi nhựa, thêm mấy khối gỗ thô lăn lóc, để con tự tưởng tượng và chơi. Nhìn quanh thấy góc nào cũng dễ thương nhẹ nhàng, một nơi để về là như thế.

Giảm bớt kích thích vào buổi tối

Ngày trước, đi làm cả ngày về, dù mệt mình vẫn hay muốn cho con ra ngoài chơi, đi lượn phố, đi siêu thị, đi khu vui chơi trong nhà hay đi ăn vặt gì đó. Dường như ở nhà chán không chịu nổi, cứ muốn tìm một niềm vui, một sự kích thích nào đó ở bên ngoài. 

Giờ thì mình lại trân quý những buổi tối yên ả ở nhà. Phần vì mình cảm thấy ban ngày mình sống cũng đủ vui rồi, buổi tối tự dưng muốn chầm chậm êm êm thôi. 2 tiếng trước giờ con đi ngủ, mình bắt đầu nói nhỏ và chậm lại, chuyển từ ánh đèn trắng sang ánh đèn vàng rồi đến đèn ngủ hoặc nến tealight. Không nhảy nhót hay xem tivi nữa, không có những trò chơi đối kháng hay trêu đùa ầm ĩ. Thay vào đó là yên lặng nặn đất, vẽ hoặc nghe kể chuyện, rồi thong thả đi ngủ thôi. 

Có những người vừa náo nhiệt đấy mà đặt lưng xuống là ngủ được ngay, nhưng mình nhận thấy rằng trẻ con cần có một sự chuyển đổi chầm chậm từ trạng thái động sang tĩnh. Vậy nên mình cố gắng giảm bớt dần các kích thích để con dịu lại từ từ và dễ vào giấc ngủ.

Bữa ăn lành

Nếu hỏi Lạc món ăn yêu thích nhất là gì, con sẽ không ngần ngại trả lời là pizza và xúc xích. Còn Bia? Khoai tây chiên 🙂

Chúng sẽ reo lên hào hứng nếu được ăn những món này, nhưng xem nào, mình là người lớn và trách nhiệm của mình là cho con biết điều gì tốt, điều gì không. Vậy nên những món ăn này sẽ để dành vào những dịp đặc biệt thôi nhé, chứ không tặc lưỡi mua bất cứ khi nào. 

Ngày càng nhiều những món ăn lành đi thẳng từ ruộng vườn vào nồi lên mâm cơm nhà, và lũ trẻ cũng dần quen với việc ăn rau mỗi bữa. Gần đây, Lạc còn đòi thử ăn ớt chuông sống khi thấy mẹ nhai rau ráu – và ngạc nhiên chưa, ớt chuông sống trở thành món rau yêu thích của em bé 6 tuổi! 

Mình ngạc nhiên là đã từng có thời luôn chọn mua táo nhập khẩu ở siêu thị thay vì hoa quả địa phương, chỉ đơn giản vì nó đắt và là đồ nhập nên sẽ tốt. Giờ thì khác rồi. Hoa quả mình chọn những thức vào mùa và được trồng ở quanh đây, mùa hè có dứa rồi nhãn, sang thu có ổi, hồng. 

Trên đây chỉ là một vài yếu tố nhỏ, nhưng nó giúp bốn thành viên trong gia đình mình cảm thấy dễ chịu hơn và thực sự mong ngóng mỗi khi được trở về nhà. Còn nhiều điều mình muốn làm, nhưng có lẽ trải nghiệm còn chưa đủ sâu để chia sẻ. Một lúc nào đó, lại tiếp tục chủ đề này.

Thương yêu.

Có thể bạn sẽ thích

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